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This year signifies a full decade since the word “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. At the time, the concept that someone could abruptly cease communication with a partner without any notice seemed like the height of indignity. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a partner has only become more bewildering – an frequently unsuccessful endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by online slang.

Generation Z, a generation who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated challenge on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier terrain than their millennial elders could ever imagine. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown longer and more unhinged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a comprehensive breakdown to the words gen Z is using to talk about love, sex and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Realness – For gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon loosely based on a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s response is inquisitive or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while exuding mystery and independence. (She may yet have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This signifies going for someone who supports you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A outing where two people bond while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do low-cost romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie excess, it describes partners who choose against parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of playing it cool: embracing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Red flags – Behavioral quirks suggesting a potential partner is not right. For instance calling their exes unstable, subpar tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions affirm your choice to date a partner. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who hates the same stuff or people that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly shut down any sense of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be numbered since some gen Z desire fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {